Eulogy
(Delivered by Jason at he Celebration of Life)
They say life is short. and yet, my friend James always says, life is long—which I love. Layer Saunder’s life over these two decades and we find the real truth—life is what you make it while you have it. Life is how you spend it. Time is relative and there are no guarantees.
Saunder lived purposefully. He was a student of life… always curious… always evolving. He was an eager explorer. A thoughtful adventurer. A dreamer. He was spiritual. He was soulful. He was a son, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a friend and he was engaging, present, and intentional in his connections.
The following quote by Kahlil Gibran was on Saunder’s birth announcement I designed 20 years ago. To read it today, I have to say… it feels fitting of the independent, free thinker, soulful child, adolescent, and young man Saunder was.
“You may give them your love but not your thoughts for they have their own.
You may house their bodies but not their souls for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”
Saunder’s curiosity and eagerness always stood out to Jessica and I - we watched him with fascination and pride – he was always teaching us. We often said he raised us as much as we raised him.
He was born on a sunny day in September 2002.
He loved baseball, and his friends James and Moses–close friendships that still remain close today. They filled their days with catch, backyard t-ball, skate boarding, and building luge courses in the front yard in wintertime. He showed us he mastered big wheeling at the tender age of 4 by drifting the corner of our driveway onto the sidewalk. We also saw how fast his papa could run chasing after him at the same time. He certainly was calvin from calvin and hobbes.
Exploration and adventure was in Saunder’s blood. He was my "mini me" and we set out exploring at an early age. I introduced him to skiing, climbing, fishing, mountain biking and more. He was on the 612 Mountain Bike Team for 4 years. I got to coach Saunder… and I was able to watch him advance into an absolute ripper. He grew to dominate the trails outpacing his cancer 10 fold. We had a blast and he became an exceptional rider. He had memberships at local climbing and bouldering gyms and caught on quickly to the sport. He took everything I taught him and sent it to the next level. He was super fit and smooth on the rock. I’m grateful for the memories enjoying our sports together. We had our last climb on April 23 and I’ll cherish that forever. Later that day he set his first top rope climb in Taylors Falls with his friend, Ethan, and they climbed into the evening. What a day! He loved a good road trip too… camping and hiking along the way. He took a memory maker trip with his friend Kate and her sister last summer and he and Kate had an epic one planned for this year.
A pivotal time in Saunder’s life began in August 10th, 2015 when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. There is a saying “Our character is defined by how we rise after we fall” and at 13 Saunder intuitively knew this—He believed his cancer battle was meant to be character building.
While committed to his own healing he made a big impact in the healing of other lives through fundraising for treatment and research. He was so moved and encouraged by our community after an event we hosted for him in 2015 that In 2016 he hosted an event for his teacher’s son, Ben, who has diabetes. The following year, his initiative inspired our family to co-host an event to support a cousin’s cancer fight. In 2018 and 2019 he became a spokesperson and fundraiser for The Leukemia Lymphoma Society first as the Boy of the Year and later, Student of the Year where he ran a 7 week campaign that raised $69,000. It earned him the honor of naming a research grant after his friend, Christian, who had lost his life to Cancer.
Saunder had an incredible work ethic. He began working at the age of 15 at Convention Grill where he met some of his best friends and the knack for sweet talking managers. Later he worked at Red Wagon and Milio’s. After he graduated he began working at Fraser helping adults with special needs. A job working with adults with mental illness and addiction at Supportive Living Solutions followed. He had the most beautiful way of relating and normalizing uniquenesses. He believed we were all more alike than different.
We would listen to his stories at the dinner table or gathered in the family room following his work days or his time with his 3 strings friends with intrigue for how he handled situations and with admiration – he was such a thoughtful young man & a gentle soul.
He attended Montana State, Bozeman in the Fall of 2021 but soon realized he preferred meditating more than attending lectures…the format wasn’t right for him. Upon returning home he shared with Jessica and I and his therapist, Laura, that he needed to lead a more purposeful life and the classroom setting wasn’t a fit for him. We were happy to have him home and to watch what his next move would be. He was a hard worker with so many ideas for his future. We were so proud of him and he knew that. We made sure of it often.
Saunder had many really great friends–Friends of all backgrounds, lifestyles, abilities, interests and ages; and all different phases in his life from new friends to life-time friends. Even as friendships evolved and changed no matter the reason… distance, priorities, interests… If you were in Saunder’s life at any time you were in his heart to stay and he thought of you and spoke of you with gratitude and respect.
Over 20 years the beautiful bonds with our lifelong friends and their kids grew to become the longest and richest friendships Saunder would have the pleasure of knowing. He prioritized family and Duffy’s, Farrell’s, Holst’s, Peterson’s, Ellis’s, and Midbrod’s were like family. Cabin getaways and weekend visits orchestrated by the adults later gave way to camping trips, concerts, and meet-ups arranged by the kids. These friendships took their own shape and the bonds withstood distance and time.
Saunder’s faith and spiritually played an important role in his life. He talked about his relationship with God often and openly throughout his early years and he wrote about Him in his diary-private conversions that he had with God about his cancer diagnosis. Then at age 16, he became curious about Buddhism. His curiosity led him to the Zen Meditation Center. On Saturday’s he would trek through snow across Lake Bde Makaska to attend a workshop to learn sitting meditation (called Zazen) and later attended services based on Buddhists Teachings. He studied Buddhism through various books and Zazen meditation became a daily practice.
“Saunder knew so deeply of Universal order. The sacredness of cycles, God, our Soul and the joy of the spirit. Within his heart he was a key holder to the vast space into which we all return to the Divine.”
Shayla, family friend
He was living according to his design — purposefully, thoughtfully, spiritually, finding connectedness in others and in nature. He lived in love and contentment. We saw contentment especially in the last 6 months. Jessica and I would comment often on how settled and peaceful he was. We could never want anything more for our son.
Saunder was a life learner. He didn’t have a TV in his dorm room in Lutsen. The room was filled instead with books that supported his hobbies… rock climbing, hiking, mushroom foraging—the hobby we questioned the most…, a gem and crystal bible, and he had recently begun studying and practicing Reiki–an energy healing technique. He was eager to share what he was learning and we were grateful to learn through him.
We were fortunate to spend time on the North Shore with Saunder’s Lutsen Resort family this past month. The photos, videos, and stories shared about Saunder were food for our soul. We cling especially tight to the words one friend shared, “we all feel like we know your family because Saunder was always showing us photos. He was so proud of his family. He talked about you all the time.” Those words will dance through our minds forever. We learned he loved to cook for his Lutsen friends… making some of our favorite recipes and sharing our family pizza tradition. Resort manager, Edward, hired Saunder and said he would have kept him there as long as he would stay. We received a beautiful note from Edward that I will share with you now:
“I wanted to share with you how I am personally processing meeting, working with and the loss of Saunder….
I was a fan of “ Highway to Heaven”… the mid 80’s Michael Landon TV show with the premise that an Angel was sent to Earth in order to help people in need….. my reflection now of Saunder’s time with us reminds me of this great dramatic TV show that gave a peek into the lives of people that met the Angel and how their lives improved with the time the Angel spent with them… working and spending time with …
I will remember Saunder as an Angel that came to join our company and our Lutsen Resort community for a relatively short time but our Angel left us with a most positive impact on our lives..
Thank you for our Angel..”
Edward had asked Saunder to join the Activities & Recreation team for the summer season. Saunder was really looking forward to it… his last text messages with Jessica conveyed his excitement! While he worked mostly at the restaurant at Lutsen Resort he also spent time helping out on the maintenance crew. His boss, Dean, said it didnt matter what job he put him on… how disgusting it was the response was always the same “Sure Boss!” Dean told us he wanted to clone him! We felt so proud to hear that! It fills our hearts to know he made such an impression and was so loved and appreciated.
Like her children, Jessica has a beautiful soul and a deep connection with Saunder — she was there for him on his darkest days and overjoyed on his brightest. They hung onto each other’s words and laughed together often. She is an exceptional mother, caregiver and friend to our first born. He looked to her for friendship guidance, sharing his latest hobby and for a quick laugh. Jessica, Saunder’s adoration of you may only be outweighed by your love for him. He deeply admired and respected you. You were his safe harbor. He loved you and the two of you have an unbreakable bond that will forever live on. I know you will continue to see him and that he will watch over you with the loving care you showered him in.
Saunder was an incredible brother. Avery and Asher will miss him forever. Watching them grow and seeing them laugh together has brought Jessica and I so much joy over the years. They supported each other and loved each other so well. By his way of living he encouraged Avery and Asher to live a life true to themself and to never stop becoming. Our friend Erinn said it beautifully, “he was so open about being in progress” and Asher and Avery found that inspiring.
He was so adoring of Avery. He watched her with a subtle but telling smile that said, “that cool girl is my sister”. On February 17 he messaged Jessica to tell her about the many dreams he had been having about Avery. He said he believed it was because of the strong bond they shared. They confided in each other often through a secret language. He thought she was so wise and well spoken. He was admiring of her beauty and grace and was looking forward to taking her senior photos for her this fall.
Saunder would have stuck Asher in his pocket if he could. He wanted to teach Asher everything every chance he got–biking, long boarding, rock climbing, tinkering with bikes and skateboards. Saunder loved Asher’s style and confidence... he said Asher had “swagger”. He also appreciated Ash’s wild spirit and goofiness. In an April 26th family chat he said, “we all need more Asher” - “We need more of his out of pocket behavior”. Saunder was happy to hang with Asher, and Asher’s friends, any chance he could.
A friend of ours said “The best way we can honor Saunder now is in the living… doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves and others and embracing life”.
Saunder embraced life. The good parts and the not so fun parts with ease. When we had to pack and head to the hospital for a treatment I would say, “sorry bud.” He would simply look up, smile and say, “it’s ok, dad.” I think he is saying that now to us. This is how he lived his life. Everything was good and the way that it should be. And yet, in his absence, it is hard to be. Because we are different now. Life is different now. But we will honor him—his curiosity, his passion and quirk… his vigor for life all with that infectious smile attacking each day from dawn til dusk. If you ever wonder where we are, we will be rising up everyday in that same way with Saunder by our side.
