We’ve been here before

It’s Sept 21, 2023. As I reflect on Saunder’s birth on September 27th, 21 years ago, I’m reminded of the power of water and the power of energy. 

I’ve been here before. With you without touch, smell, voice, sight. We thrived in this environment for 9 months as I carried you, Saunder. My love for you grew more and more palpable as the sun rose and set. I had never known a love so strong and unconditional despite having never set eyes on you, having never held you in my arms, or laughed or talked with you. Nevertheless, the love was real. The connection deeper than I had ever known. Devoted to each other for life. All of the richness and belonging; no shared human experiences. Connected through a single yet complex cord and held in the essential water in my belly. Our combined energy weaving the intricate tapestry of our existence as mother and son — our souls joined by your choosing and the divine mystical power of God.

For 20 years our family lived abundantly as we experienced our physical lives together. Enriching human experiences held in love, deep connection, challenges, and adventures we shared.

As Dad and I soaked in the bath house at Water Shed Spa I closed my eyes and I was transported to the Caribou River - to the water that cradled you delivering your spirit and soul to Heaven, just as the water within me held you before delivering you to my arms 21 years ago.

We are in the place we started… without touch, smell, voice, and sight; I find comfort and awe in the parallels between belly language and the language that connects us now; kicks and hiccups exchanged for signs and sudden flushes of energy that send chills throughout my body. I am familiar with the strength and richness of connection in this space. No shared human experiences and yet I know our love will grow and deepen because we’ve been here before; our combined energy continuing to weave the tapestry of our existence as energetic beings. From this new but familiar space we continue…